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Joke of the Day
"I'm so good at sleeping... I can do it with my eyes closed."
Next Joke
"Make people question sincerity by adding quotations to your cards: ""Thank You"" Get well ""soon"" ""Congratulations"" on the ""baby"""
"How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one."
"Some people can ruin how attractive they are by doing this weird thing with their mouth... it's called ""talking"""
"I once heard that ""Time flies like an arrow."" But all I knew was that fruit flies like a banana."
"My analyst says I anthropomorphize... but It's only a problem when I do it to people."
"What do you call a dog who loves to be dominated? A sub woofer. Thank you & God Bless"
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, personal trainer. Obesity killed my father. Prepare to diet."
"I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids! What is with ewe people!?"
"What will happen if somebody were to kill all Scotsmen? They will get off scot-free."