10959

Joke of the Day

"A little alien asks his mother... ""Mommy, the kids all say we're aliens from outer space. That's not true, is it?"" ""Vegl dibrogmrn di shtrtl mixtor!"""

"9: Dad, did you know that in some cultures the groom doesn't even know the bride until after they're married. Me: That's every culture son."

"Sometimes I'll tell my wife the car is making a weird noise and I need to listen just so I don't have to hear her talk."

"Happy Columbus Day! The man invented OUR modern work culture! He set out to do somethin, stumbled upon somethin else & took credit for it!"

"TIL 6.7 billion people are the minority By arrogant ignorant Americans."

"How are Bill Cosby and Santa Claus similar They both only come when your sleeping"

"<Put your title here> May be NSFW Isn't it crazy how there is a band called one direction, because that's what I named my asshole as a teen."

"What's the best thing about an 8 year old in the shower?..... You can slick her hair back and make her look 6."

"My statistics professor is certain he will get in shape this year. He's doing confidence intervals."

"My boss wanted to know why I was away for so long. I told him I was in the restroom and he doesn't believe me. He insists I'm lying but I'm really just full of shit."