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Joke of the Day

"I can't stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can't take it."

Next Joke
 
"Wife: I feel horrible; I look old, fat and completely unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment. Husband: Your eyesight and opinion is damn right."
"My doctor constantly says I'm artistic. I don't know why he keeps mispronouncing it, though"
"The bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."
"My friend had a stroke and half his body went dead He's all right now."
"I was going to go camping for vacation... But I think it's too in tents for me..."
"My wife just dropped her keys & said ""What's WRONG with me?"" & I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question."
"You're a big internet fan arn't you? Yes I really get a buzz out of it!"
"What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed? High definition"
"[Morgan Freeman narrating my life] ""He's still sleeping."""