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Joke of the Day

"Dad, can I have another cup of water? Dad: But its your 12th cup tonight! Son: I know, the baby's room is still on fire."

"It's true. Parents that use drugs, have kids that use drugs. So, there's an important lesson here... Don't have kids."

"I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray"

"How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard."

"Why couldn't the skeleton cross the street? Because he didn't have the guts!"

"Wore my hair in a ponytail to Walmart and 4 people asked me to defend them in Drug Possession Cases. Court starts Monday."

"What do women and KFC have in common? After your finished with the breasts and thighs all you have is a greasy box to throw your bone in."

"Short seal joke A baby seal walks into a club"

"The panic begins with the first one to say Calm down!'"

"Marijuana doesn't kill your brain cells. You're just an idiot."