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Joke of the Day

"A woman was accused of attacking her husband with several guitars. When she got in front of the judge he asked, ""first offender?"" She replied, ""No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."""

"You know what a vegetarian will never get? A Spam."

"Someone should create a Trump parody Twitter account... That only retweets all the stuff he actually posts"

"If I had a dollar for every time I had sex I'd be a cheap prostitute"

"What do you call a lizard with sex problems? Ereptile Dysfunction"

"Want to hear a joke? The Ghostbusters Remake"

"Pro Tip: you can't just be sorry. You have to understand why I expect you to be sorry and be able to articulate that back to me in detail"

"A teacher challenged 10 of her students to come with a pun each, the whole class would get no homework if one of them made her laugh. But no pun in 10 did."

"My cow Rosie won 3 blue ribbons at last year's 4H show so I have pretty high hopes for her at this year's chili cook off."

"Ladies, if you don't want to answer a question from a guy, say, ""I already TOLD you. You never listen."" We have no idea if you're lying."