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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop guys like Donald Trump from saying racist things? You muzzle 'em."

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere!"

"I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like ""thank God it Friday!"" or ""Im pregnant of baby"""

"To impress women by coming across as a bit of a bad lad, I always tell them I'm in human trafficking. Which isn't a total lie as I'm a lollipop man."

"The bad zoo A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog. It's a shizhu"

"There was a baby boy born at the hospital without eyelids. So the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin as eyelids. He's doing fine, he is just a little cockeyed"

"To celebrate this Valentine's Day beat your wife... In a friendly race down to the mall."

"I dropped my phone in my porridge this morning, It took a while to sink in."

"My friend is addicted to interventions and I don't know how to help him."