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Joke of the Day

"A joke from my grandfather who is a Indian man in the United States. Him: ""Muslims are going to vote for trump"" Me: ""Really?"" Him: ""Yeah. They want him to stop their parents from visiting constantly"""

"Sometimes I want to get married just so I can have something sad to tweet about."

"What did the young digital clock say to its Grandfather clock? ""Look Grandpa, no hands!"""

"Who is this ""one""? And why is he always arguing with people?"

"What does a chemist say when he needs someone to pass the salt? ""Please pass the salt."""

"I was walking past a store with one of my lazy friends There was a sign in the window that said ""No Help Wanted"" I told him he should apply"

"My physicist gf told me she loves me to the moon and back .... I don't know if she was referring to the Distance or Displacement."

"Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing."

"If I got arrested I'd ask for one tweet instead of a phone call because none of my friends answer their goddamn phones."

"I respect the Secret Service They are the only law enforcement agency in the country that gets in trouble if a black man gets shot."