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Joke of the Day

"Ok redditors i need your best volleyball or nazi puns!"

"I have beautiful children Thank god my wife is having affairs"

"I can't spell armugedon... But it's not the end of the world."

"I think global warming is real because you hardly see The Penguin on episodes of Batman anymore"

"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"

"What do call an ant that helps you with your taxes? An account-ant."

"Today my dad told me that he quit his car vacuuming job after the first day. He said it was a sucky job"

"A man asks the waiter: ""Why do you have your thumb on my steak?"" ""So I don't drop it again, Sir."""

"When impersonating a coworker, I like to add a little extra dumb to their voice."

"All dates are 'blind dates.' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight."