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Joke of the Day

"Yeah, I'm majoring in math. Then when I graduate I'll get a job down at the math factory. Maybe even work my way up to CEO of math one day."

"Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed? He said he ""couldn't find a shingle person to do it."""

"What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies? Almond Joy."

"Vegetarian: 'You know, a cow died so you could have that burger'. Me: 'Maybe he died because you keep eating all of his food'."

"So what do you pack for the end of the world? I'm thinking lots of toilet paper, oh and guns to protect my toilet paper."

"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 Because I really like that one-to-one time."

"Passover jokes? In case conversation at our seder lags."

"A blind man walks into a bar And a Table. And a Chair."

"When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish."

"How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!"