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Joke of the Day

"Please just try it. Every woman you see tonight: ""Sexy Gary Busey?"""

"I didn't feel right so I went to the doctor. He only takes one look at me and says, ""Well son, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" I asked. ""So I can examine you."""

"Lifeguard 1: How was your day? Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad? 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers"

"Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many."

"Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept."

"The best thing after an intensive argument is the reconciliation sex... ...but boy, do I hate to argue with my in-laws."

"Report - Sharks have difficulty finding work 51 weeks every year."

"I went into a vegan slaughterhouse. Man, there was juice eveywhere!"

"[bum holds his hand out] ""can I have some change?"" change comes from within ""thank u. now I'm not poor anymore"""

"What do a communist and communism itself have in common? Neither one works."