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Joke of the Day

"England at the 2014 World Cup"

"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."

"What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile? Gladiator."

"The instructions said if my erection lasts longer than four hours to see a doctor... My calculus professor was no help at all."

"I only believe 12.5% of the Bible... which means that I'm an eightheist"

"Here, let me loosen those morals for you."

"Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them."

"People who won Darwin Awards... ...jumped into the gene pool when the life guards weren't looking"

"Take me with you! I shout to every airplane that flies over my house."

"I think my bank is trying to get me to become a gymnast. They keep sending me letters about my outstanding balance."