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Joke of the Day

"""Oh Shit, Was That Today?"" an autobiography"

"My wife was raped by a gang of mimes. They found many ways to get in and out of the box. OR They did unspeakable thing to her."

"Check out this list number 5 is awesome. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.awesome"

"Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite."

"Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission? Because she prefers to drive stick!"

"This is why I drink. - Me, doing anything sober."

"What do you call a pizza who's a DJ? DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm."

"If you zoom out during the opening credits of ""Friends,"" you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD."

"When I told my boyfriend love has to come from both ways... ...he suggested a threesome"

"I got arrested today for not opening the door for my neighbour.... Apparently it's illegal to keep him locked inside my house"