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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a radical and a moderate Muslim? A radical Muslim wants to cut your head off, but a moderate Muslim *wants* the radical Muslim to cut your head off. Bye."

"""Yous ain't passin'!"" - Gandolfini"

"People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig."

"Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it."

"[ER] HIPSTER: I fell off my acoustic motorcycle & broke my mustache twirler. DOC:... H: I fell off my bike & broke my hand. D: Rub kale on it."

"If your sandwiches were made with the end Wonder bread slices, you weren't their favorite child."

"US voters have definitively proven You can go black and then go back"

"Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea."

"Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine doctor. Doctor: Oh really? Mary: Yes she tries to prevent me from making her take it!"

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was both their last big hit."