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Joke of the Day

"If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream ""What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"""

"Did you here about the funny looking desert font? They call it comic sands"

"I had a friend who was a mushroom He was a fungi."

"Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says when don't serve nobles here. He didn't react."

"What do you call large number of cannibals stranded on an island? A *free-for-all-you-can-eat.*"

"The priest said that the demon really wants to leave, but I'm way too clingy, so the exorcism didn't work."

"What did Death say when his furniture was repossessed? There will be reapercushions."

"Bad Joke You: Can you believe they're still together after all that crap Friend: Who? You: My butt cheeks!"

"Religion is like a man's penis. It's okay to have one, it's fine to be proud of it, but don't go around shoving it in people's faces and jamming it down children's throats."

"How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. There are no light bulbs in the closet. Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet"