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Joke of the Day

"How Fat Was She!!! She was so fat I got done fucking her and rolled over twice, and I was still on the bitch."

"Does anyone remember Gotye? Now he's just somebody that we used to know"

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"

"What is worse than a dude shooting cum on your floor? A dude farting cum on your floor."

"When life gives you lemons... ...you won't get scurvy."

"How do you pronounce the ""Pao"" in ""Power'? [deleted]"

"Saw two elementary students get in a fistfight so as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance"

"Why are there gay aliens on mars? Because curiosity got the best of them."

"There's a doctor here to see you. Doctor who? No, I think it's a non time traveling one."

"Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased"