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Joke of the Day

"USDA approves shipment of marijuana-fed cows' beef Analytical studies show that the steaks are high"

"I was at this party the other day and saw.... that there was no punchline."

"This lady stalks me everyday from work to my home, and i'm beginning to like her People say its just stalk-home syndrome"

"My FedEx guy knocks on the door like his son is dying and I'm the town doctor."

"the biggest problem facing feminism today is when I cant find my car. how are we supposed to get anywhere when I dont know where my car is"

"""I think I stepped in some upchuck"" What's up, Chuck? ""Not much, but my name's not Chuck"" *vomits*"

"Definition of anxiety: half of the time you're worried about the other half of the time."

"I like my women like I like my cars Black, loud, heavy, and full of gas."

"Call your boring friend Simon, ""Sighmon"" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers."

"What do you call a Nazi turkey? Joseph Gobbles."