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Joke of the Day

"USDA approves shipment of marijuana-fed cows' beef Analytical studies show that the steaks are high"

"How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they enlighten themselves."

"There was this church that was so so small That instead of having a crucified jesus they had one hanging"

"This watch means a lot to me, I got it from my Jewish Grandfather He sold it to me on his deathbed."

"The three unwritten rules for success and hapiness 1. 2. 3."

"A knock knock joke Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't keep making you knock only to have me keep saying banana over and over again in preparation for the punchline?"

"What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much? Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty"

"What did the asian couple name their black baby? Sum sing wong"

"Interviewer: congrats you got the security guard job Me: *already asleep on a folding chair* Interviewer: hang on u don't start til monday"

"Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip"