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Joke of the Day

"I used balloons to propose to a girl I met on the internet... I then saw her face for the first time and had to pop the question."

"I'm not single and I'm not committed... I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves..."

"What do Amish people catch when they start using technology? Mennonitis!"

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair."

"War is not the answer Unless, ""What is the opposite of peace?"" is the question."

"""Sir, you have to stop masturbating"" The nurse said. ""But why?"" The man asked ""Because I can't examine you while you're moving."""

"Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall I said maybe"

"What do motors and the Soviet Union have in common? Commutators"

"What's the worst thing a woman can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"My friend said to me ""I don't understand why all smokers don't just vaporize?"" ... ""A little harsh don't ya think?"" I replied."