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Joke of the Day

"*goes to bathroom *takes out phone *opens Twitter *finishes *pulls pants up *flushes *forgets to poop"

"You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times."

"If a boy touches your... Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say ""don't"" and if he touches your pussy say ""stop""? Daughter: But mom, he touched both so I said ""don't stop"""

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac? A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog."

"Why is the top speed of sex 68? At 69 you blow a rod."

"eating Asian pussy all I need was SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE"

"Chuck Norris crab fishes the Bearing Sea using only a snorkel and a laundry basket."

"Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner"

"Why don't black people go on cruise ships? They aren't gonna fall for that one again."

"What's the difference between a dick and a joke? You can't take a joke ( )"