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Joke of the Day

"Why did the stand up comic quit comedy to become a obstetrician? He needed to work on his delivery."

"If someone tells you he has a centrifuge on a submarine, don't believe him! It's a subterfuge..."

"How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader? Tell him that asylum seekers kill pedophiles."

"I went to the local swimming pool today... And I asked the receptionist, ""How much for 2 children?"" She replied, ""$9.50."" ""Awesome!"" I said. ""Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip?"""

"Why did the chicken cross the bridge? To get away from the Turkey coop."

"No one who heard me talking to my dog would assume that English is my first language."

"How do you kill a hipster? Drown him in the Mainstream."

"Dirty Catholic Priest jokes are getting old. So we know one demographic who won't like them any more at least."

"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"

"Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet? Because he can't bring himself to click the ""submit"" button."