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Joke of the Day

"Ugh, I accidentally spoiled the new Spider-Man movie for myself by seeing ""Spider-Man"" 10 years ago."

"Melania Trump and this sub are the same Both like to copy stuff and say them again"

"In England butchers price meat by how they smell... ...a good sirloin costs about 10 pounds per scent."

"Job interview: "" if you want the job lick the floor"" -what? -lick the floor if you want the job *licks floor* Eww gross, can't hire that guy"

"What the mothers against drunk driving aren't counting on is my innate ability to run people over while sober."

"My girlfriend said she was finishing with me because of my obssession with flowers. I said ""Where's all this stemming from, petal?"""

"An elephant and a camel are chatting at a party The elephant asks ""Why do you have your tits on your back?"" ""YOU KNOW FOR SOMEONE WHOSE DICK IS IN THEIR FACE THAT'S A REALLY STUPID QUESTION!"""

"Why do Russians love Pho so much? Because they're so...viet."

"Are you cold? Come sit in the corner, it's 90 degrees."

"What do you call an asian who flies planes? A pilot."