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Joke of the Day

"I bet the butcher he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf, but he saidthe steaks were too high."

"[court] LAWYER: Did u kill him? ME: No L: You know what the punishment is for committing perjury? ME [lips on the mic] Much less than murder"

"My wife...she says I can be a jerk some times I think it's nice of her to give me permission like that."

"How do you call playing games while it snows heavily? Blizzard Entertainment."

"Do you know what happens when gay marriage is legalized? BREAKING NEWS: California's drought is over. Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners"

"Dry humping is not an acceptable substitute for a hug."

"As a Marxist I could never play CoD, because I refuse to create a class."

"Holocaust jokes ARE NOT funny Anne Frankly, they make me disgusted."

"I don't think I could date a deaf person... I couldn't take the silent treatment!"

"My ex was a true professional.she said ""you are fired"" when we broke up."