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Joke of the Day

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says ""I'll have an H2O"" The second one orders a beer."

"Good cop: we found her body in the river Cop who doesn't want people knowing he can't swim: I was sick that day otherwise I'd have found it"

"Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are just dying to get in."

"How can you tell when your wife has died? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up in the sink."

"*turns on shower* *shower whispers ""eat donuts for breakfast"" & ""get drunk tonight""* Me: Wow, that's some serious water pressure"

"I tired to kill myself today... But, it was all in vein."

"I'm thinking of something really stupid to tweet -all of us all the time"

"There's only one stereotype I like Sony."

"Why is it bad to have a strong American dollar? It's harder to break bills."

"I want to apologize to the person who followed me at 2:21am and unfollowed me by 6:45am. It was a wild ride, and I will miss you."