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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my whiskey (NSFW) Aged 12 years and mixed up with coke."

"""Doctor, is the baby healthy?"" ""Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her."" ""Huh?"" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask"

"My iPhone does NOT rule my life. Battery - Don't worry, Siri. I got this."

"A MEXICAN AND A BLACK MAN JUMP OFF A ROOF. WHO LANDS FIRST? A: WHO CARES"

"You know what makes me smile? ... my face muscles"

"So I farted in an apple store Everyone got mad so I said too bad you don't have windows"

"I walked into this restaurant near the beach half naked and they wouldn't serve me.. It's like they've never seen a penis before."

"Dominos dropped the ""pizza"" from its name because they're not legally allowed to call that pizza."

"Why can't animals take tests? Too many cheetahs!!!!"

"He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know. Shut up, is basically what I'm saying."