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Joke of the Day

"Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me ""mom"" ever since."

"Blind people should not skydive. It scares the crap out of their dogs."

"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""

"What does Donald Trump tell Barack Obama supporters? Orange Is The New Black"

"Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!"

"You ever hear about the guy who goosed the ghost? He got a handful of sheet."

"This ceiling fan keeps knocking over my ceiling furniture."

"A TV show where customers get to hear what employees said 10 seconds after they left the store."

"Legally,It's questionable. Morally,It's disgusting. Personally,I like it."

"You know what Popeye and Napoleon have in common? They both come on those little jugs of Olive Oil."