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Joke of the Day

"I told the bartender I'll have a Lou Gehrig's Disease. It's a tall glass of tequila. You drink half of it, stand up to make a speech, drink the second half of it, and you're dead."

Next Joke
 
"I couldn't be on a reality show because I wouldn't want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone."
"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."
"Anniversary ""Knock* Knock*"" :Who's there? ""9/11"" :9/11 who? ""You said you'd never forget!"""
"I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, ""Not overly racist."""
"Have you ever had sex while camping.... It's fucking in-tents"
"I'm pretty sure Kanye West is the reason why we arent allowed to retweet our own tweets."
"whenever the police put a mannequin in a squad car to slow traffic, I strategically place mannequins around town committing crimes"
"So two guys walks into a bar.. One of them says ""Ouch"""
"The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle."