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Joke of the Day

"I ran into a one armed fisherman I asked if he had any luck. He said ""yea caught one this big"" This joke works better in person."

"My kid's insults to each other: ""you have fat lips like Momma."" ""well, you have a big butt like Momma. Thanks, kids."

"Have you heard the one about Ron Jeremy's penis? It's a real knee slapper."

"How to be popular on Pokemon Go in New York. Go in a middle of Manhattan while playing Pokemon Go and yell with the top of your lungs; CHARIZARD ,CHARIZARD!!"

"""No degrees of separation"" - what I'll whisper to Kevin Bacon after I climb over his security fence at 3am and slip into his bed naked."

"My name is Bjorn and I used to live in California I was Bjorn in the U.S.A. I was Bjorn in the U.S.A. I was Bjorn in the U.S.A."

"[at zoo] Kids, here we have reptiles. Reptiles are cold-blooded. This means they rely on external heat and often answer texts with just a K."

"Every 3 seconds a woman has a baby Our mission is to find this woman and stop her."

"Nephew just whispered something into a Cadbury Easter Bunny's ears then broke off its head. I'm sleeping with the lights on."

"What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly? A dead bird."