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Joke of the Day

"Why was the wildlife reserve worker weeping next to poached rhino? He liked his rhinos sunny side up."

"Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station, and one's a busty crustacean."

"Did you hear Kevin Trudeau is working on a new book? It's called Prison Yard Secrets ""They"" Don't Want You to Know About."

"Hear about the farmer that stepped on a rake? He had two acres."

"Paris is suing Fox News for repeatedly insulting it. Also suing them for the same reason: your intelligence."

"At 1am I'm going to wake up my 2 year old by yelling his name and crying. Then, I'll crawl into his toddler bed. Let's see how he likes it."

"I saw my friend's girl sleeping with another man in the army but didn't tell him... It was a private affair."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road murdered the chicken's family."

"""Mrs. Arnold Palmer, what do you do for good luck before your husband plays a tournament?"" ""Well, I kiss his balls for good luck."" ""That must make his putter flutter."""