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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine accidentally deleted my game data and told me to calm down ...So after a nice cup of tea, i hid his body"

"What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday? I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents"

"Why do people always talk in absolutes? I would never do that. It's the worst."

"Apparently, you can only say ""look at you! You got so big!"" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended."

"Light a man a fire... You'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life"

"all of my friends are really happy and successful. i have no clean forks so i cut up a hot dog with my debit card"

"My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said ""not now"" so wish us luck we're officially married."

"Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium are dating now? OMg !!!"

"My girlfriend can be really loud during sex... I don't know why. She knows no one is coming to help"

"I was trying to think of a joke about friends... But I don't have any."