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Joke of the Day

"R news are nazis This is how it works, right? Can i get my karma points now i need karma"

"OMG! I just got an email (in my bulk mail folder) from Oprah Winfrey!!! She's gonna help me increase the size of my penis!!!"

"What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)"

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too."

"What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate."

"(meeting for naming cereal) ""List the ingredients; maybe we'll get inspired."" ""Honey, bunches of oats"" ""I think we're done here."""

"I could never eat a vegan burger I don't believe in cannabalism"

"What's the difference between a turkey sandwich and a ham sandwich? A turkey sandwich doesn't recognize the Armenian genocide"

"I get sad around the holidays because they always remind me of how much weight I'll be gaining."

"Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate: 1. Be endorsed by Dave. 2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage."