90131

Joke of the Day

"You're missing the point and possibly a chromosome..."

"TIL the propeller on a plane is a fan to keep the pilot cool When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating!"

"Don't scream. I came to your house because you never responded to my DMs. Are you OK?"

"*THUD* ""What was that?"" ""My pants fell down."" ""...Why so loud?"" ""I'm wearing them."""

"My daughter wanted me to be a mime for her birthday party. I was speechless."

"I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster."

"[Wakes up in hospital after car crash] I'm afraid we had to amputate both of your feet. ""OMG why?"" You were too tall to fit in the ambulance"

"What cat purrs more than any other ? Purrsians !"

"I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 Shades of Grey... For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went."