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Joke of the Day

"Dear Sir, I am writing this with a heavy heart. Sorry it's so hard to read I should really find a pen"

"How to talk to a good girl and bad girl When you talk to a good girl, ask 'How are you?' When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you?'"

"Atilla the Hun, Adolf Hitler and a lawyer are stranded with you on a island ... - and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot? -- The lawyer twice."

"How does a computer nerd become to the most popular person in Australia. He automates it."

"I went to the gym and did a negative pullup today. It was a letdown."

"What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye? Bull dozer"

"How many lives does a German cat have NEIN!"

"You know how after you get off a boat, your body still feels like it's on the boat for a while after? I'm like that with beds."

"Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater."

"If I'd know I only had 4 decent tweets in me when I started, I'd have spread them out a little more."