88236

Joke of the Day

"Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes? Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

"What's the difference between a person with a forehead and a fivehead? A sixth sense"

"Wouldn't it be cool if Zombies & Vampires become human if we bite them first? Somebody needs to test that one."

"Therapist: Alright, let's start at the beginning Me: *Sighs* I guess it all really started when I wasn't born a centaur"

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"When a guy texts ""your beautiful,"" reply with ""my beautiful what?"" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again."

"What did we call IT before computers ? The Mail Room"

"why didnt the butcher win the election someone found out about his pork-barrel spending"

"Came up with this lame one... What do you call a posh shop that sells kitchen appliances? Selfridges."

"Bought the 'Sounds of the Rainforest' cd, not as relaxing as I hoped. The 1st half was birds chirping, rest was chainsaws and bulldozers"