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Joke of the Day

"The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room"

Next Joke
 
"I've had the clap so much that it's turning into applause."
"People mistook me for a racist Some people at the park had assumed I was a racist because they thought I had said ""sand nigger"" Really what I said was; ""Get out of the sand, nigger."""
"Just got a job as a software engineer for the government! My career as a professional shit poster is really gonna take off"
"My wife was almost killed by a clock today, it fell onto the chair just as she stood up. Damn clock was always too slow."
"3 things that makes me stress: hot days annoying people stand close to annoying people in hot days"
"No matter how kind you are german kids are Kinder"
"Slowly crawl towards your sleeping dog, put your face directly next to its face, and whisper ""I know it's been you shitting in my yard."""
"Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well."
"Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters? Because a Lannister always pays his debts."
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