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Joke of the Day

"Why was the cookie monster arrested for computer hacking??? He was in possession of all the ""COOKIES"""

"Nobody is as conflicted as a Jewish zombie about to eat Kevin Bacon."

"Werner Heisenberg just unveiled a new car... It comes with a GPS or a speedometer, but not both."

"It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol."

"6yo lured girls to our beach umbrella by shaking a bag of Cheetos at them & it worked so guys, feel free to steal his fool-proof method."

"It's not that people use only 10% of their brains, it's that only 10% of people use their brains."

"What do you call an autistic kid that accidentally ate a pot brownie? A baked potato."

"Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts? He hates camping"

"Hey, want to play the rape game? No? That's the spirit!"

"Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver"