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Joke of the Day

"*sneeze once* God bless you! *sneeze twice* God bless you. *sneeze three times* Get your shit together, Steve."

"Cheap date idea: cut open a pack of hotdogs & squeeze the juice over your lover's body then summon a peregrine falcon with your mind."

"I often chastise my conservative grandpa for stereotyping black people.. I mean how rude it is to pick on jobless people raised by single mothers..."

"What do you call a mexican cyclops? Juan Eye."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? the wheelchair"

"The KKK, Black Lives Matter And Westboro Baptist Church Throw Urine At Each Other Outside RNC. Reports are still unclear as to what pissed them all off."

"If someone on the Windows team at Microsoft gets fired... would you say they've been defenestrated?"

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans."

"If you made a wall hanging out of cheap necklaces bought from the merch tables at small, underground rock concerts... Would you have a Decoration of Indie Pendants?"