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Joke of the Day

"Could yield signs be any more Canadian? ""You might have to stop. I'm not sure. You decide. Do you like me? I'm on a street!"""

"Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that."

"Next time someone says ""Your Mom"" ""Let's get off moms, cause I just got off yours."""

"After sex I always get out my phone and order my wife a dozen roses. My girlfriend thinks I'm hilarious."

"This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two... One to beat the the room for being black and the other to beat the switch for being broke."

"American light beers are like having sex on a canoe... Its fucking close to water"

"eer booze and fun!' 'An Indian a Rabbi the Pope an Italian and an Irishman all walk into a bar together and sit down. The bartender looks at all 5 of them and says ""What is this... some kind of joke?"""

"I just think it's sad that we've seen eachother naked and we don't talk every day."

"If I died & went straight to hell it would probably take me 2 or 3 weeks before I realized I wasn't at work anymore."