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Joke of the Day

"You don't have to like me but at least base it on your own opinion, not someone Else's."

"How do you know if a fortune-teller is shit? You knock on her door and she shouts ""Who is it?""."

"When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, ""So, what did she say?"" I'm funny that way."

"Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world"

"A man is setting his password to ""mypenis"" Error: Not long enough"

"A man is about to jump off a skyscraper... but before he is able to, a physicist runs up to him and yells, ""No! You have so much potential!"""

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? it's a pretty obscure number.... i'm sure you haven't heard of it."

"My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD."

"[maybe NSFW] How can you tell that a porn star works at your local gas station? Right before he's done filling the tank he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the trunk of your car."

"What did the mother say to the pedophile at the beach? ""Get out of my sun!"""