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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a sign advertising crabs and clams. I don't know about you, but I prefer to keep the crabs away from my clam."

"What's the famous Confederacy battle cry? We Surrender!"

"My wife kicked me in the balls today... She always goes for the low-hanging fruit."

"What's 9+10 21"

"Why don't women tip bartenders? They don't give a tip because they take the tip."

"""As one door closes, another one opens,"" he said. ""That's all well and good,"" I said, ""But until you fix it, I'm not buying the car."""

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"I once got kicked out of a library... ..because I put a book about women's rights in the fiction section."

"Is it bad to hate a certain race? Because I despise the 100 meter"

"Wifi going down... Our wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One child started talking and I had no idea who he was."