80790

Joke of the Day

"I tried typing ""penis"" as my new password and I got an error message saying it was too short."

"What do you call tension in the percussion section? Druma"

"It's so cute how my kids think I'm going to go look for them after I finish counting to ten."

"Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen."

"The Republican primary race should be called ""The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on."

"I told my ex-boyfriend to masturbate so he could give me a fucking break once in a while."

"My boss told me to have a good day so I went home."

"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there? I'm I'm who? Hi Who, I'm Daniel"

"The Outsiders: Why is Ponyboy lactose intolerant? He hates Dairy but likes Sodapop."

"UGH. When I text girls that I have standards, I really need to stop abbreviating the word standards to STDs."