80037

Joke of the Day

"Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them ""Jesus is the reason for the seizin"""

"No, LinkedIn. I would not like to link my Twitter account but thank you for trying to get me unemployed for life."

"*found in the netflix horror section* ""Mary has a secret that'll TEAR YOU APART"" Movie name: Mary piranha"

"Programmers talking... \- So I heard you've got a new girlfriend? \- Yeah, she's amazing, 35-24-35! \- Deep purple?"

"Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath."

"If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me."

"It might be just me but CSI seems a little like Scooby Doo for old people."

"When Fnatic plays on fy_snow... OLAFmeister gets an ace"

"I've snapped a bunch of necks Being a necklace photographer isn't too bad"

"This guy gave me the weridest look when i flushed his urinal for him, It's like people have no concept of manners anymore"