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Joke of the Day

"Why do Hasidic Jews dress so strangely? Because they are unorthodox."

"Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job? [flashback to everyone chanting ""SHIT PANTS""] Me: It was just time for a change."

"$100 dollar bill.... a guy leaves of a building and looks up and says that $100 bill is mine, that $100 dollar bill is mine, and dies crushed by a mattress."

"Deshsawn, Jamal, Tyrone, Darryl, and Darnell all went to see a movie... The 3 of them had fun."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""Breathe you idiot! Breathe!"""

"A friend of mine was learning to drive. The problem was he couldn't get the hang of backing the car round corners. His instructor fixed him by using reverse psychology!"

"I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night."

"What do you call a black man with a pegleg SHIT ON A STICK *im going to hell*"

"[does his regular grocery shopping] Cashier: having a kid's birthday party? Me: ...................yes."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, you know we've got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper says.... ...Ralph?"