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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

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"As I rowed my little boat Toward the river shore, A small black bird kept me from landing, Quoth the raven, ""never moor."""
"""Ugh I sent so many drunk carrier pigeons last night"" -medieval millennials"
"Q: Why don't matches play baseball? A: One strike, and they're out."
"So anyone know how much a Polar Bear weighs? About enough to break the ice..........."
"[At the job interview] ""Why did you leave your last job?"" ""They took a vote."""
"What's four inches long and drives women crazy? A 100 dollar bill you pervert!"
"What do you get when cross religion with apples? Apple Jews."
"Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. ""1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."""
"WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly 12 a stone ME: WIFE: 312 kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool"