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Joke of the Day

"What do whales do on dates? Netflix and Krill"

"They told us to get in formation So, I started investigating."

"*a man runs into the bar* ""HELP HELP, IS ANYONE HERE COUSINS WITH BON JOVI?"" *my date looks at me, I do nothing, my lies are now exposed*"

"Why did Lt. Lenk and Sgt. Colborn cross the road? To put the bones on the other side."

"I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact."

"What did the atom say when it lost an electron? I better keep an ion that."

"What do kings call musical chairs? A game of thrones."

"So why is it called the ""funny bone""? BECASE IT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR HUMERUS"

"So a man was reported as having a gun turned out to be an umbrella He was armed and while the umbrella was open rather shady"

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up."