78986

Joke of the Day

"What do whales do on dates? Netflix and Krill"

"This Petraeus scandal is getting real confusing. I hope I didn't sleep with him."

"What's the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one? An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery."

"There was a convention for lazy-eyed bachelors and bachelorettes. There was a massive turn out: Most of them ended with a perfect mate.... You could say that their eyes crossed in a crowded room."

"I just moved to a new housing estate and asked my girlfriend to celebrate with anal Her response; ""N.I.M.B.Y"""

"The people who came up with all these different rules for pluralization are bunch of peni."

"So I walked into the pharmacy the other day... because I needed to grab some condoms. As I was checking out, the clerk asked, ""do you need a bag for that?"" I replied, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"I miss the old days. When a duck face meant that you had a stroke."

"Men are like Bluetooth. When they're close they're connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment."

"What do you call a man who makes fart scented candles? Incense-itive"