78412

Joke of the Day

"Relationship advice on /r/relationships User: So my boyfriend and I... Adviser: Dump him."

"Ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming."

"The best writerly advice is to start each paragraph w ""Here's somethin for ya!"" as the reader is now engaged & will follow you anywhere"

"What do you call a dead Australian Wrestler? Stone Cold Steve Irwin"

"Farrah Fawcett's last wish was for all the children in the world to be safe, then Michael Jackson died."

"Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"will you marry me? ""OMG YES! I love you!!!"" *imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter* I love you too"

"Did you hear about the tragic crash of the small plane into the cemetery? So far they've recovered 324 bodies."

"interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd"

"I joined a 12-step program for people addicted to 12 step programs, Anonymous Anonymous. The 1st step is admitting you don't have a problem."