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Joke of the Day

"A guy gans into the butcher's... ... and says ""Gie us a steak and kidley pie."" So the butcher laughs and goes ""You just said kidley."" And the goes ""Naw, I didley."""

"The best trick to ordering pizza is asking them not to cut it. By law, they can only charge you for one slice."

"I told a very average joke in the cheese aisle today. The crowd went mild."

"What's the difference between your mom and the subway? Homeless guys have to pay $2.50 to jerk off on the subway."

"My Wife and I made love today for the first time in weeks. (X-POST from r/shortscarystories) I put her back in the freezer afterwards."

"What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse."

"Who took in most refugess? The Mediterranian Sea."

"If boys had uteruses... If boys had uteruses they would be called Duderuses. (from Bobs Burgers)"

"What does every woman have in her panties? A career."

"What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool? Bob."