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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise? A: It was all-oink-lusive."

"I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again."

"How can you tell when you're in a bad strip club? It's not hard."

"U2's Ireland shows have sold out. Expect a ticket through your letterbox any day now courtesy of Bono."

"What is the definition of a farmer!? Someone who is out-standing in his field!"

"Wanna read a joke about procrastination? I'll type it later."

"Opinions are like mixtapes... I don't want to hear yours."

"My problem with self-deprecation... is that I suck at it."

"Just made eye contact with a truck driver while eating a corn dog at a convenience store and now I hate everything."

"How does a Syrian family have a meal? The men provide the food and the women do the cooking, leaving the children to wash up afterwards."