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Joke of the Day

"Did you know... Did you know that Stevie Wonder has been paying child support for kids he's never seen?"

"Why couldn't Bing start a fire? No matches founds"

"""Your keys are over THERE."" - Wow. You have eagle eyes! ""Yup. My vision is 20/20."" - No. I mean they're small, beady & kinda close together."

"An impotent man... ... named his dick Magikarp. Because it's useless and can only splash."

"Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Potential employee: Shape shifting. Interviewer: Really? Interviewer: Yes. Interviewer: Shit."

"My wife is such an air-head I told her not to turn her head away after giving me a blowjob, but she didn't listen. It went in one ear and out the other."

"Tim & Jim went had coffee They both ordered hot coffee and after a while, Jim yelled ""OMFG ! Drink fast before it cools !"". Tim asked why and Jim said ""Hot coffee is $10 and Cold is $50."""

"Local Drowning A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented ""He was too far out, man."""

"How do you make an archaeologist mad? Give him a bloody tampon and ask him what period its from."

"I combined all my wrist watches to make a belt I guess you could say it was a *waist* of time"