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Joke of the Day

"There was a pregnant woman.... She was in labor and the doctor said: 'It's labor day!'"

"I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice"

"My friend brought me to a club for philosophical digging. It got pretty deep. ^*I* ^*tried*"

"i went to middle school with a kid named jonathan math. poor dude was HORRIBLE at math. the expectations of his last name weighed too heavy"

"My best dating advice is to wait after you have two kids and a house before you tell her you speak elvish."

"My friend tried to kill herself by taking 20 advil. I was very upset by this and I asked her ""Why take 20 advil when you can just take 2 aleve?"

"When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can't get any worse, please remember...I don't give a shit."

"- I'd like to make a reservation. - Name? - Matthew McConaughey. - Can you spell that for me? - No."

"You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said... ""What a treasure"" and your dad said ""Lets go bury it!"""

"Why did the crow go to the gym? To work on his caw strength."