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Joke of the Day

"A tree walks into a bar ... The bartender asks him to leave."

"Me: *Sweeping* Wife: Excuse me Me: *Slams broom on floor* YOU SHALL NOT PASS Wife: ... Me: That's from lord of Wife: MOVE! Me: *Moves*"

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"I remember when I was gay It was a real pain in the ass."

"Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo."

"Why do hurricanes have girl names? First they are all wild and wet, then they take your house."

"Star Wars Joke Obi Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker at a brothel May the whores be with you"

"I dreamt about a horse last night. It turned out to be a night mare."

"I used to think that ""Lacrosse""... Was what the French called that thing that Jesus carried on his back."

"The owner of the Regal movie theatre chain has died. Services will be held Tuesday at 1:00, 4:15, 7:30 & 10:30."