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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: you didn't use my shampoo again did you? ME: *shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away*"

Next Joke
 
"So two bassists are sitting at a bar... One leans over to the other and says, ""How are you dealing with not writing any of the songs?"" He responds, ""One note at a time."""
"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. Happy Holidays Fun!"
"[Guy Joke] How is wearing crocs like being blown by a dude? It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay."
"Trump: ""I'll win the latino vote"""
"When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room."
"They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys"
"Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?"
"Oral sex makes your whole day.. ..Anal sex makes your hole weak.."
"How did the mermaid get into a car crash? ...because she was fish tailing!"
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